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Friday, January 30, 2009
5:09 PM

Life has been so stressful, so unfair to me so far. I am VERY tired. Absolutely weary. Who would care for me? who would understand my feelings? Who would UNDERSTAND me? I have enough. School is already hell this year, I MUST concentrate.

I'm tempted to kill my emotions, and my life, and just be a emotionless robot this year. It'll save me from un-neccessary breakdowns this yr.

Optimistic? Whats the point? Nobody takes you seriously anyway.
I wanna be selfish, I wanna be uncaring. Teach me how, somebody, please. There's no point worrying and caring for others anymore. I never get acknowledged, I never get appreciated. There's.... really no point. I don't get joy out of helping others anymore.



pardon me, I just have too much pent up emotions.


Thursday, January 15, 2009
7:36 PM

ODAC?
^.^
hmm.... I've given some thought on what ODAC really means to me, mainly due to the overwhelming time I get to think when walking back from school or simply during my journeys.
ODAC has really opened me up to a whole new world. Ask around, it's not uncommon to receive a "huh? Whats that?" when you tell them your CCA is ODAC. We don't really receive much fame, technically. ODAC is just a club, where fun-loving people gather together to enjoy the outdoors. Kayaking, rock-climbing, windsurfing, camping, races, roller-blading. It's all fun stuff that one doesn't really get to enjoy in other CCAs. Though considered a sport CCA (in IJC at least), we don't compete in national A div competitons, there just isn't one. However, competitions we still do join, on a national level too, where people from all walks of life are even entitled to participate. We get exposed to many new experiences outdoors in fact. ODAC just isn't ODAC when confined within the school boundries. It's when we set off, out of the school gates where we enjoy our adventures of grandeur.
^^
Basically, the lesson I learnt from ODAC is the real importance of team spirit. Winning just isn't anything when you win without your team mates. You don't have to be super fit or strong to win adventure races, the real key is the teamwork behind it. If your team mates are tired and just can't seem to go on, you stay behind and support them. You don't abandon them, you stick by them. Even if it costs you, you don't abandon them for selfish desires. Working hand in hand, you can just imagine the morale boost. It's so great, you actually feel rejuvenated. Goals aren't accomplished alone, they are driven to accomplishment with friends and comrades for support.
I do admit, I still do feel selfish somedays, however, you have to consider the rewards from helping and sticking by friends, it's something money can't buy.
Actually, I think ODAC motto/vision should be changed to
"Through sheer will and committment, we will achieve great heights, leaving not a single ODACian behind."
yup, totally appropriate.
Anyway, I wish those participating for the SYNERGY race, GOOD LUCK!!
Remember, it is through working for and with each other, that you will truly achieve success. The win is just a bonus.
.
.
.
.
.
Life has been cruel to me.
Am I such a nice person to make a mockery of?
Please,
I just need a little help, life,
so do stop playing tricks on me.
I'm not a toy,
I have my feelings,
Do be considerate.



Sunday, January 11, 2009
2:39 AM

J'ai besoin de toi
Je faire vraiment
♦
Time flies real fast. Open house is already over(2 days of hard work), and School is starting this coming monday.
I really really am not looking forward to this monday. Deep within, I already have this feeling where this coming monday...it'll be such an awkward day...
This year signifies a year of change.
Everything seemed to have changed already.
I must be prepared, to reforge the bonds that holds me strong.
If not... I might just crumble into oblivion.


Friday, January 2, 2009
12:24 AM

It's A WHOLE NEW year! 2009!
^^
A year has passed. 2008 is gone, and now, is the start of a whole new year.
First of all, I'm gonna do a summary for 2008. I'm typing this at 3am, pardon on what I type.
=x
Ok, 2008 has been a very enriching year for me. In a sense, I've done many firsts in 2008. Things that I've never done before in my whole life, I've done it in 2008. I've started 2008 with anticipation, and curiosity. I know I was finally out of the ACS family, and I'm stepping into a school that I've never heard before previously, wondering how it'll all turn out for me. Pardon me, I would have went to another school if I could, but my results deny me the opportunity. Still, I thought I'll just give Innova JC a chance. School started, was pae period then. My class then, 0841A, was pretty fun, and bonded too. I was happy for that, coz I didnt know anybody initially in IJC (there wasnt any acsi ppl tt I know of in IJC at tt time), my classmates helped me settle in real fast, and I thank them for that. I made a clique with a group of people, namely jason, caleb, felicia, riyanti and larissa. And we called ourselves, GO6. lol. (gang of 6). Sure was fun being with them. All our outings haha. We still meet up now and then, tho only jason and me remains in IJC.
♣
Well, PAE ended fast. Still, I didn't regret the experience in PAE. Was the first time I had such a nice clique that was made in less than a week. lol. Actually, first time I had a clique with girls inside lol. (don't forget I've been in a boy school all this while)

Anyway, JAE came after PAE. I landed in 0811B, coz of the combi I chose. H2 Bio maths chem, H1 geog. Tough combi, requires load of mugging. Though I never really mugged, which explains my poor results. I started the first week of JAE (first week where lessons started), frequently jumping to 0841A, and skipping bridging lectures(first time I skipped, bad boy I know, I regret it now). I felt so much happier with 0841A then. My new class was so... foreign and well... very different from 0841A. Actually, I remembered hating the class for some time. I still remember the first civics lesson with 0811B.
I was the first to arrive that day. Well, I didnt know any 0811b ppl at that point. Soon everybody came. Yea, including my CT, Mr Tan Jack Woan. I was like WOA!! at that time. My class had 27 people(25 initially, but yun heng and lay teng joined us at some point), but only 8guys. Anyway I was pretty emotionless that day. Basically, that civics lesson was where Mr Tan introduced himself, gave us a toy car each (It's to inspire us that we have to drive our own car and to drive properly, and we'll eventually reach our destination), elected the class committee (I was elected anything coz I was just, unknown), and told us his expectations. Anyway that day I sat right in front. It just so happened that 2 girls came in late, and there were two seats beside me, so they took it. Eventually, the person beside me was the one I had my first conversation with. And it so happened that about 7?(I cant rmb exactly when) months after that day, they are now my best frens (in a sense). cool huh. But thats for the later half of the year.

I started hanging out with the guys in my class intitially(but of coz, the minority always stick together), and somehow, I started hangin out with vivien, yixi and samuel. yea hanging out as in, having lunch together, and eating together and stuff liddat. Vivien started a scandal bout me n yixi -_-"
♣
~sorry I dun have a pic of samuel inside too~
Anyway, came the kota tinggi camp for the JC1s during end may. Was an eye opener(I blogged bout the camp, you can go view it if you want, check archives) I've seen the other side of many of my classmates during that camp. Anyway, I had fun with 0811B.
♣
^^
Then, it was the holidays. Yup. I had a bdae surprise from my classmates, at least some of them. Yixi (and her sis), Vivien, Samuel, LayTeng, Siti, and Anette(not my classmate, but well, a great help in my pw, lay teng's fren). First time ^.^ None of my frens actually celebrated my bdae for me b4 in sec, even more none ever did so volunteeringly. Happy ^^ I still rmb accompanying vivien, yixi and her sis to bugis street to shop lol. I had no intention of buying anything though, so I didnt.
That wasnt the only thing I received for my bdae that made it a first. I rmb on the 3rd june, at night. I was chatting with cindy(alrdy in indo), yixi and fanie. Just when it turned midnight, I received a call from each of them in the order above. woo! I never though of such thing, much less by 3 girls! And cindy actually called from indo! (I was kinda worrying bout my bills hahaha)
Yup, Happy I was. It was also the first time my sec frens celebrated my bdae with me (I started it by celebrating shaun's bdae hehe)
♣

ok, so now for term 3. Somehow I broke away from the vivien, yixi, samuel clique (samuel did too) and rejoined the guys. Was at some point that I started hanging around cindy and fanie, not sure when and why XD but I still hung around the guys for meals and lectures.

Soon, Term 4 came, and everybody became anxious bout promos, coz it's like life and death. It was then I found out that studying with frens is soo much more efficient than studying at home. Thanks Cindy ^^ Study at coffee bean and esplanade library, hahaha!

Yep. Term 4 was over in an instant, and most of us got promoted. Had our class chalet on nov17-19. Then the year was gone. Just like that.
♠
of coz, I wont forget my pw group, IJ005, who consisted of siti, clarabelle, yixi, layteng and me. They are a great bunch of people. We had our fair share of fun and arguments hahaha. Loads of stress too.


Of coz, how can I forget about my CCA! I was in hockey during PAE. Wanted to try a sport, hockey seemed to be the only appealing one haha, but to be honest, I only went for 2 trainings. I joined ODAC about a week after JAE, and had loads of fun since then ^^ especially in the second half of the year haha. ODAC is one CCA I really enjoy, if only my mother didnt restrict me that much.

My new year resolution for 2009

1.To be more muggerish

2.To do much better for my exams (meaning more As of coz)

3.To try to make this year less painful than I know it will be






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